Is there something in my braces?

It is a new month so I will no longer be beginning my blog with the formulaic "I am..." and then a bunch of barely-related nonsense. Instead, I will simply attempt to negotiate the hardships of graduate school and the ability to stay away awake long enough to crap out a coherent piece of 'writing' that may or may not entertain.

Is there something in my braces?

For those of you wondering, this is not what wearing a thong is like...

Today a friend asked me if I was a "dweeb" in high school.  I responded truthfully: I have no way to describe my high school self other than friendless, but I got to thinking about possible categories I could have fallen into. I was kind of a tomboy, but liked to wear makeup.  I was an athlete, but I did well in school.  I went to catholic school, but I loved to dance dirty.  I certainly never fit into one typology, and although I loved video games and fantasy novels, I never have and I never will describe myself as a nerd.  In a time when every girl on the planet wants to brag about seeing the latest superhero movie and talk about how great she is at  Smash Brothers, I am happy to reserve that title for the true nerds on this planet.

I don't know when it began, but the recent flux in science fiction blockbusters and shows like the Big Bang Theory have popularized being a so-called geek.  Additionally, the well-publicized success of nerds like Nate Silver and Steve Jobs, reveal the glamorous payoff that we all strive for.  Though it seems for the most part that people are ditching the whole, you know, lifetime of hard work and education and slapping on a slick pair of Warby Parkers instead. I, frankly, don't have a problem with this, but I feel for the souls who have spent most of their lives puffing their inhalers praying for Carrie Fisher to visit them in their wet dreams (I'm not nerdy enough to even have a reference from my own generation).  Since I'm sure these citizens of the World of Warcraft are getting pretty sick of the impersonators, I've compiled a short list of things to help separate the posers from the real deal.

- Wearing glasses does not make you a nerd.  It makes you an inferior member of the human race and you won't be invited the lunar colonies when our planet is destroyed.

- Liking superheros does not make you a nerd.  Liking superheros only counts as nerd points if you have read the comic books from which the characters of your beloved Henry Cavill, Christian Bale, and Chris Evans originate.  Tom Welling anyone?  #tbt.

- Knowing how to turn on your xbox does not make you a nerd.  Nor, for the record, does playing video games make you a "gamer."  Just saying.  

- If you wear makeup or care about your appearance in general, you are probably not a nerd.

- If you didn't get straight As in school, please stop telling people you're a nerd.

- If you've been in a relationship that didn't stem from a chat room, a mmorpg, or the rifle team meetings, I doubt you're a nerd.  If you had to look up what "mmorpg" stood for, YOU'RE NOT A FREAKING NERD.

- Watching the Zachary Quinto Star Trek does not make you a nerd.  Knowing that there are multiple Star Trek television series as a result of watching the Big Bang Theory also means you are not a nerd. Additionally, simply knowing the difference between Star Trek and Star Wars does not make you a nerd.

- Game of Thrones isn't nerdy. 

- Harry Potter isn't nerdy.

- Pokemon: not nerdy.

So stop.