Thursday, November 7, 2013

Bridges Will Burn

Ladies and Gentlemen,
I don't know how many of you, my readers, are athletes, but I can guarantee many people out there are going to take issue with this one way or another. So please feel free to leave me nasty comments or share with your friends if you feel the need. Today's rant is brought to you by the shit show taking place in a local high school athletic department.  Bear in mind this a personal blog post, and I have not spoken directly with all involved parties. Although I will be making heinous remarks about certain authorities, the utter disdain that I now have toward the individuals who have ruined several careers and the legacy of a team is less important than the implications their actions will have on the moral success of their children. 
As some of you know I have been a volunteer coach for upward of six years now, and the current state of the volleyball team is abysmal. For anyone older than me, this was pretty much the norm during your glory days, but for a brief shining period between 2007 and 2011 this particular volleyball team was a top dog in its district. The excessive slew of talent that came through during that time is a huge contributor, but much of the team's success can be attributed to the coach and her staff. Taking the reigns in 2006, she led a team with an average of 2 wins per season and turned them into a regional powerhouse. Regardless of varying opinions of her coaching methods and abilities, her hand in the improvement of the district's volleyball program is undeniable.
A little Jones sister action circa 2007
Yet somehow this revered woman, who has led dozens of teams to hundreds of victories, is being forced out of the school district. 'By who?' you ask. Parents. The whiny, snot-nosed parents of the whiny snot-nosed players. 'Why?' you ask. Because their daughters did not make the team.
Now, the beginning of this season started the same as any other: skills camps, team camps, tryouts. However, what most people fail to realize is that tryouts are not just the three days before the roster is posted. Athletes are constantly being evaluated, from the moment they step into the gym and every subsequent moment until they leave. What you do on that court, regardless of what the current task is or who is or isn't watching, is grounds for judgment. The performance over a meager twelve hours of tryouts is almost negligible if a player has spent a season with the team. There is no tenure in sports.  So parents who think their child earns a spot on a team because of a good three days of practice, or the fact that they were on the team the previous season, are sadly mistaken.  Having seen these players myself and having my opinions of each, I can say that the majority of them are lazy, indifferent, and completely willing to coast on what little god-given talent they have. That being said, on a personal level, I do like most of them, but as players they are virtually uncoachable.
My views aside, tryouts were held, cuts were made, and the season should have proceeded as usual, but several upperclassmen were released from the roster and all hell broke loose. Phone calls to the athletic director were made immediately by furious parents, nasty emails started flying, and the uninvolved players had to just stand by as a battle unfolded around them. Honestly, angry parents sending angry messages is nothing new, but the steps they took next are arguably the most abhorrent part of all of this. The parents, dissatisfied with the results of their harassment, went to the school board, the school board to the Athletic Director, and the AD to the fetal position.
These girls were cut because they did not demonstrate the athletic ability or the work ethic to remain on the team, and therefore the parents went on a rampage. After already having two former coaches removed within the last year, they locked in on their next victim with ease and authority. The athletic director, pressured from higher powers, decided that the girls who had been cut would be reinstated to the team. OVERRULED. A coach with a lifetime of coaching experience was told that her decision would not stand. Why? Because the administration has no spine. Their cowardice is the same reason two other coaches lost their positions and one has to wonder how many more high school coaches' jobs are at risk if similar situations arise.
I understand self-preservation, but the actions of the administration are in direct violation of the ideology of athletic programs. Doing the minimal amount of research, I found a passage on the school's website stating that the major goals of the program are to:
  1. emphasize the educational values of interscholastic athletics
  2. Promote safe and sportsmanlike competition
  3. abide by uniform standards for all interscholastic levels of competition
    citation withheld for anonymity...because i'm so good at being discrete.
Sportsmanship is first and foremost about respect; respect for one's opponent and respect for oneself. I don't doubt that the players on this team have respect for their opponents, especially in a district where wearing a facade is everyone's favorite activity. Oh, am I getting catty? Sorry. However, there seems to be a definite lack of respect for themselves; not as individuals, but as a whole. The internal workings of a team depend on a mutual regard for people's abilities and the roles to which they are assigned. This includes everyone involved—players, coaches, assistant coaches, managers, etc. The coach's role is to teach the skills, the players': to listen. Yet, I have been witness to a group of girls who have little desire to listen or to learn, especially when it requires effort. The guidance they are given is misconstrued as criticism and pressure put on them to work hard is seen as bullying. They have no self-control, they have no discipline, instead they have parents that do all the work for them so they have to earn nothing and are instead handed success on a silver platter.
This leads me to the so-called emphasis of 'educational values.' How are coaches supposed to instill educational values when they are being undermined by external forces? How can administration remain appointed to their positions when they don't represent the values they themselves have outlined?   What sort of example are these people setting? “What's wrong, honey? Coach made you do an extra drill and you were tired? Well that's not acceptable.” Hard work, determination, self-improvement, dedication, teamwork, and an endless list characteristics that are supposed to be gained from involvement in sports were thrown out the window the minute these parents interfered. These parents have completely failed to acknowledge the responsibilities of their child, have bulldozed right through their moral development, and have created a generation of entitled and mediocre athletes. Parents, your children are LAZY, and instead of letting them learn the consequences of their indolence, you have rewarded them and ruined people's careers in the process.
...but then again, you did put a lot of hard work into screwing the team over, so I guess there is a little bit of diligence in there for you to pass on.
I can't decide what really upsets me most, but I can tell you that the Administration’s failure to take action against this sort of incursion is despicable.  By overturning the coach's decision they robbed her of the authority and respect she deserved, therefore setting the team up for mediocrity at best. Yet, the players are also to blame. If they thought the decisions were somehow ill-informed or misguided, is it not their responsibility to address the subject with the coaches? I have never known a coach to avoid explanation for his or her decisions and players should know that. But these girls aren't taught to confront their issues because they have parents that will do the dirty work for them. In the nine years I played organized sports, I cannot remember a single occasion on which my parents spoke on my behalf. Parents with unrealistic views of their child's capabilities need to step aside and let them discover something on their own. If your child isn't good enough to make a high school team, she certainly doesn't have any hope of pursuing the sport in college, so why are you pushing for her to be a part of the organization? So she can learn good values? Yeah, nice one, jackasses.

4 comments:

  1. I am so proud. I really am meant to be your Grand Little.

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  2. Posted to my facebook:

    And thus, you have stumbled upon one of the primary problems which threaten to unwind the very fabric of society: Today’s parent / student generation. Of course, as is always the case with societal issues, (and something that bears noting from the start), the opinions you have expressed, as well as the ones I`m about to unleash, are not inclusive of society in its entirety, but rather a large congregation of parents and their children. It has been my observation during these past 5 years of teaching that today’s parents are often overzealous in their accusations of incompetence of coaches and teachers, and inconceivably short-sighted in the evaluation of their own child’s attitude, effort, and performance in academia and athletics. I do not mean to infer that the parents are solely at fault; however I believe that “schooling” starts at home. They are very much responsible for the behavior and attitudes of their children. It is high time that parents engage themselves in the occupation of “parenting”, not “friending”. A distinct difference exists between these two. Parents teach their children values: Hard work and perseverance, honesty and integrity, civility and responsibility through life lessons and by setting examples. Friends enable. Period. Parents who exist in the “friend zone” with their children will do anything to gain their “respect and admiration”. This includes slumping to new lows of human behavior in an effort to “save face”. Students, on the other hand, are just as much to blame as the parents. To say that today’s youth are misguided would be the understatement of the century. One need only look at the role models they look up to in order to understand how misplaced their allegiances are. (Insert references to Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga, ‘Lil Wayne, or any other anomalous lunatic “celebrity” here). Exposure to these and other deviants does little to impress upon our youth the values of hard work and civility. It is unfortunate that society has come to this point. However, in many ways, we are all to blame. Silence is acceptance. Change will never occur if we retain our thoughts and opinions to our own inner limits. Perhaps it is time to get boisterous? The truth hurts, but it may be the only way out of this rut. To quote Aaron Sorkin’s character, Will McAvoy, from The Newsroom:

    “…but you, nonetheless, are, without a doubt, a member of the worst period generation period ever period, so when you ask “what makes us the greatest country in the world I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. Yosemite? But it sure used to be. We stood up for what was right. We fought for moral reasons. We passed laws, struck down laws for moral reasons. We waged wars on poverty, not on poor people. We sacrificed. We cared about our neighbors. We put our money where our mouths were, and we never beat our chests. We built great big things, made ungodly technological advances, explored the universe, cured disease, and we cultivated the world’s greatest artists and the world’s greatest economy. We reached for the stars. Acted like men. We aspired to intelligence, we didn’t belittle it. It didn’t make us feel inferior. We didn’t identify ourselves by who we voted for in the last election and we didn’t scare so easily. We were able to be all these things and do all these things because we were informed by great men, men who were revered. The first step in solving any problem is recognizing that there is one.”

    Will goes on to say in this speech that America is not the greatest country in the world anymore and in some ways, I am inclined to agree with him. A nation is defined by the character of its populace. A populace is defined by the character of its individuals. Individuals are defined by the morals and values that encompass their character. Morals and values are learned at home first, and at school second. Intervention on the home front is desperately needed, lest we succumb to Will McAvoy’s perception of America.

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  3. Steph, things went to an even more absurd level in the last few days. What happened there is a disgrace.

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  4. You are perfect in every way possible :)

    Sorry your school is filled with losers.

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